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Kids home for the holidays and left to their own devices need clear-cut direction.
The holiday season can be a time of joy, high spirits, gift giving and family time, but for parents, it is also a time of concern for children out of school and left without supervision. Teens especially will be more social than ever, considering the rounds of holiday parties and seeing friends outside of the school setting. Add the mix of texting, drinking and driving to the social networking scene and parents have additional worries.
The best defense for a safe, happy holiday season is trust-the open and honest relationship you've developed with your children as you have discussed what is off limits for personal behavior, the Internet and social networking, driving and drinking. Be clear and consistent so that everyone understands the behavior consequences. That and a sense of humor will help.
Still, temptations abound when the days are unstructured. This is the time to refresh your kids' understanding that behaviors that are considered "cool" are really against the law and can have serious consequences. In many states texting and driving is illegal and certainly drinking and driving is in all states. These behaviors affect not only the driver but the safety of innocent people who could be injured or killed.
Internet safety during the holidays
Teens congregate on social networking sites, even more during the holidays. Parental controls are perfectly acceptable and your kids should know what those limits are. Keep in mind that with smart phones like the iPhone, kids are walking around with mini computers in their hands.
Internet predators know when school is out and step up their efforts to entice kids into relationships. The holidays aren't necessarily a happy time for everyone. If a teen feels alone and sad, she is even more likely to respond to a dangerous proposition that seems innocent. Be watchful of mood changes.
It's party time
John Martin, now 29 years old, reflects on his teen experiences during the holidays. "Teen drinking is going to happen. Responsibility should be taught early on and expected. I think this approach to drinking is much more effective than ignoring it or trying scare tactics. Kids might be naïve, but they certainly aren't dumb," he says. "If there is a party, have it at your house. You know where your kids are, and who their friends are too. Parents can regulate what goes on and possibly take car keys from drivers before they leave."
Because I said so
Ultimately, consequences speak much louder than parental threats. Martin says that "'Because I said so' does not qualify as a valid reason for any teenager to not do something."
In fact, it can have quite the opposite effect." Looking back to his teen years, he reflects that positive parental influences, sometimes with difficult consequences, are the best teacher.
As a parent, you do have the right to ask, where are you going, who are you with and what time will you be home. Those important questions, and the mutual trust you have with your teens, will make the holidays a lot more fun and a lot safer.
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